Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
