i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize