Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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