Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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