butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
