Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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