I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
