Buhtt sex?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
