I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize