Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize