I wanna passion pit in your ass
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
