So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
