Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
