I bet he comes in French.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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