Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
