In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
