anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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