Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
