i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
