pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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