how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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