Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
