I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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