Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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