I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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