i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
