we're blogging at a bar
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
