ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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