yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
