Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
