My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
