hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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