A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
