Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
