She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A bitchslap is in order.
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