wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize