My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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