as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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