i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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