just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
