your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
