Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize