May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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