watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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