She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
