puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize