you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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