Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
