WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
