textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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