2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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