I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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