I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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