quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
