Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
