We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
