I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
