i don't like sucking hair
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
